Contemplation
by Moonlight M3lody
Summary: Just a few minutes to look back, and regretting what left unsaid. Onesided AppleShu.


**Contemplation**

Clouds hung high, embraced the sun lazily. The warm breeze slipped through the window. A perfect summer, a perfect day. However, in a room of L'Renouille Castle, there was a man who didn't enjoy the beautiful day. H e was sitting behind a desk, a quill in his right hand, and a piece of paper in another. On the desk, paper piled into a tall tower. An ink bottle rolled down the floor, pushed by the documents, when he accidentally moved his hand.

Distracted by the bottle and watching it roll, the man let out a sight. He gave up. He was barely able to concentrate on the reports, which kept coming in a ridiculous amount.

He took the bottle and put it back to the table, his quill on the top. He returned the paper that he was reading to one of the pile.

Shu leaned on his comfortable chair, his two now-free hands supporting his head. So much to do, yet he didn't feel right. A chancellor, a position envied by the others, but he himself wasn't that satisfied. Something was wrong, something he didn't know, and couldn't tell.

He glanced toward the bookshelf at the corner of his room. Covered in dust and almost untouched since he came. He rarely has his personal time since the war ended. The war, the thoughts flooding in. He missed his small room in the castle. He missed… everything.

One image coming after another. He was involved in all these things due to one girl, one certain girl's request. Should she never beg to him for help, he might turn a blind eye and pretend nothing had happened. Thinking about it now, he has no regret. The war has changed him, shape him to a better person it seemed. He winced at the selfish man he had been before.

_Apple. Where's she now? _The latest news he heard was that she was married. He frowned. _It was a good thing, so why he need to worry? She deserved to live in a peaceful life, away from all wars and fighting she always got herself involved. She was too serious for Silverberg's Legacy for her own good_. _Yeah_, he justified himself_, that's why he worried._ _No_, he hissed. _Now she has a husband on her side, to take care of her, and keep her away from any battlefield._

He turned his gaze, trying to erase the uneasiness air around him, and change his mind from that particular subject. Before, he was a wealthy trader, so these luxuries were not news for him. Ever since Mathiu expelled him. He had money, and now the position, everything a man could hope for. But that empty feeling following him for years, tailing him wherever he goes.

Up until now, he was labeled smart, and he knew he had sharp mind. He could judge people's personality and thinking, which led into his success as a merchant. So why can't he interpret his own feelings? He was frustrated over that useless fighting with his 'peculiar state of mind'.

Not even sounds of steps could be heard. Completely hollow, but the serenity itself didn't give much comfort.

It was in that dead silence he recalled on one of Richmond's comment. One he made long ago, during the Dunan Unification War. 'Such a cool customer. He never shows his feelings.' He blinked. That comments diverted her thought back to Apple, as he now remembered the exact phrase was part of Richmond's reports about her. He read that when one day found it under his doorpane, supposedly mistaken for the leader's room one story above in their castle back then. He was in the report for 'looking at her like a little sister'.

Richmond had it pass him. How he even knew that little bit of information, it was beyond him. Little sister. It _was_ right. She might never know, but he cared for her like his own family. After they separated at the end of war, he started to feel…different.

He was trapped in the puzzle of his mind.

_How he feels about her now?_

_Is it too late for realization?_

He sunk deeper in the river of thoughts. The golden ray of sun fell into the dusty room.

The paperworks piled in front of him, untouched.

A/N: Well, I just found my love for Suiko II again. Not so many fics about them now, aren't they? Suikoden should release some side story like Tales series' Tales of Fandom. It'll be nice. 108 characters couldn't share fair screenplay in a single game, not to mention all characters aside of them.


End file.
